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EstrangedTWAT

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Status Updates posted by EstrangedTWAT

  1. It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

    GRAB THAT SHIT IT'S YOURS BITCH

    1. Bill Brasky

      Bill Brasky

      Cake  ? I like cake.  Who the fuck has the fucking cake  !!!!!!!!!🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

    2. Ms. Hudson
  2. Pappa FAT's on fire today...I wanna see him top the leaderboard!

    1. Pappa FAT

      Pappa FAT

      thanks my brother, united in ass licking we stand!

    2. Bill Brasky

      Bill Brasky

      ET fly to Australia  let papa fat work his voodoo you will be licking shelia's asshole while chugging fosters in no time.

  3. I think I just saw Venus glowing real bright near the cloud obscured waning moon.  Looked like a damn postcard.

    1. Pappa FAT

      Pappa FAT

      bro that description sounds very virginistic of you, come join me in auauds threads and gaze at some big tities

  4. Yo Isbell....what happened on the 24th!  Don't leave us hanging!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. EstrangedTWAT

      EstrangedTWAT

      Feels like fucking shit now, but it'll help you in the long run.  There's a much, much better girl out there for you.  Dozens of them.  Forget this one...she ain't worth it.  Erase her from your life and start over fresh!

    3. Jeff Isbell

      Jeff Isbell

      I have no other choice right now, as she doesn’t want a relationship in a really long time, so why do I have to wait for months and feel like utter shit at the same time? I doubt if the new one would be a fit as great as she was at the beginning but let’s see. 

    4. Jeff Isbell

      Jeff Isbell

      Also, I am more than done w occasional anxiety and depression, lack of motivation to do shit and even self-harm because of all that shit. 

  5. Earthquaaakkkeee!!!!   (Gotta admit, they're kind of fun, like a roller coaster.)

    1. my name is bacdi

      my name is bacdi

      as long as it doesn't happen while you're on a roller coaster

    2. Bill Brasky

      Bill Brasky

      Congrats  on the sex

  6. Good morning GNFNR...the Earth says hello!

    1. John Bonham

      John Bonham

      Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba

    2. Pappa FAT

      Pappa FAT

      morning babe, come back to bed

  7. Hey Ross....tell us again about the special sandwich Monica makes with leftover turkey and gravy after Thanksgiving?   What do you call it?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. EstrangedTWAT

      EstrangedTWAT

      Only fags would steal another man's moist-maker.

    3. Frank Drebin

      Frank Drebin

      Be careful when you take a bite of that sandwich, a buddy of mine took his fingers clean off when taking a bite. True Story.

    4. Ross
  8. If one more motherfucker tells me to "wash your hands" like I'm a three year old, I'm gonna stick both of them up a dead pig's ass and never wash them again out of spite.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. maynard

      maynard

      Dont forget to wash your hands. Stay safe brother.

    3. arnold layne
    4. CatatonicKitty

      CatatonicKitty

      You should be okay to go with that pig ass idea, ass long as you don’t eat a live bat and lick your fingers after.

  9. Finally "won" a day yesterday....all it took was 8 hours of my best shitposting.  That's a lot of work.

    1. John Bonham

      John Bonham

      Excellent Josh. See if you can do three in a row

    2. Pappa FAT

      Pappa FAT

      i just printed out your status update and put it on my fridge door, that's one to tick off the bucket list my yellow fever friend.

  10. Can't....stop.....beating...off......wtf is wrong with me??  I'm 42 for christ's sake!

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Pappa FAT

      Pappa FAT

      wankiing is good for the soul but bad for the foreskin

    3. EstrangedTWAT

      EstrangedTWAT

      I was robbed of my foreskin hours after my birth, against my will.   I'll never know if it's better to have a hood or not.   Bastards butchered me.

    4. Mr. Santos

      Mr. Santos

      Tenho fotos de Beth com seu traseiro cheio de sopa de feijão preto.

       

      Gostaria desse coelho gordinho?

  11. Islam is right about women.

    1. ManetsBR

      ManetsBR

      Maybe Islam is right about everything? Read Michel Houllebecq's Submission, it's one of the best books I've read this year. It's set in 2022 in France, when the Muslin Party wins the national election. And it was released on 2015 on the same day of the Charlie Hebdo attacks, and that day's issue of the journal was about the book! "The good news of prophet Houllebecq"! Anyway, yes. They probably are.

  12. I had a nice explosive jerk off after work.  Tried again before bed and it was weak.  I should have waited longer.  Oh well.

    1. maynard

      maynard

      I like liquid explosion in vagine after making love to shave pussy tight as young boy anus

  13. Leaks Make GNR Great Again!!!

    MGGA!!!!

  14. Well, I'm off to see the pillows, Japan's only good rock band.  Later, fags!

  15. Some fashion designer I never heard of and some chef whose name I recognized killed themselves.  Now I'm just shaking.  I literally can't even.

    1. Pappa FAT

      Pappa FAT

      it's sad - life is hard and some people can't find a way out

  16. LET US PROCLAIM THE MYSTERY OF FAAAIIITTHHH

  17. Goddamn it I'm 40.  I'm fucking 40.  This can't be happening.  I wasted my life.  Why didn't I listen to the dean??  Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. AxlisOld

      AxlisOld

      Hit that gym, you know it can work. Have a cheat day every week (within reason). Stay off the sauce, you know damn well it doesn't treat you well. 40 ain't shit, so sayeth the 32 year old.

    3. sixes unmasked

      sixes unmasked

      I wish I was still 40....

  18. Shit. I wanna punch every guy with a girlfriend right in the damn teeth. Fuck. Castration is sounding pretty damn good.

    1. Beast Of Bray Rd

      Beast Of Bray Rd

      Yhea but after u get laid it's like ah. Now wot? Relationships can be so shitty. Not met the right one yet I guess.

    2. arnold layne

      arnold layne

      Gimme back my alcohol. Gimme back my alcohol. Gimme back...

    3. redhead74

      redhead74

      You gotta go somewhere else, do something else, shake it up. Get out of the rut you're in. :-)

  19. New Strokes album is totally "meh." Maybe better than last one? But that's not saying much.

    1. AbominableHoman

      AbominableHoman

      Never really listened to them. Generic as shit and they'll be buried in this decade when people glance back. imho

  20. The dildo I bought my ex-gf is broken. It doesn't vibrate. Without the vibes, it didn't feel nearly as good when I tried shoving it up my ass last night..

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Venetian Cova

      Venetian Cova

      i don't advocate inter species erotica

    3. classicrawker

      classicrawker

      Hey don't blame me blme RIchard Gere :shrugs:

    4. classicrawker

      classicrawker

      Hey don't blame me blme RIchard Gere :shrugs:

  21. fuck your fucking mother's smelly bunghole. i do not want to be your friend. leave me the fuck alone.

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